Why some parents can keep cool when their kids misbehave while others, in the same situation, will immediately start yelling? Why do some parents worry and doubt while others are able to keep calm and enjoy their kids? Well, it may depend on our stress level, we are sometimes just less patient. It may also depend on our state of mind. While some parents will respond to their kids' rudeness and misbehavior with serenity and curiosity and try to understand the cause of the problem, some will quickly lose their coolness.
Such feelings are usually unconscious and are often shaped in our own early childhood. For example, if our parents used to react harshly when we had a tantrum, we may have learned that getting upset is normal in case of emergency and we tend to go into fight and flight attitudes when our own kids get upset. Parents who were not treated with respect when they were young may grow into adults who easily think others are disrespecting them; this can push them to react with anger to the smallest form of defiance, even from a very young child.
Young woman and child at the well, by Camille Pissarro (Wikimedia Commons)