Health Editor Madeleine Brindley asks whether society and the media are putting too much pressure on pregnant women to become perfect mothers.

Childbirth may be the most natural event in the world but that doesn’t mean being a mother – or indeed a father – comes naturally.

Pregnancy is no longer a private event; over the past 20 years it has increasingly become a public event.

As women have been steadily carving out a presence in the public sphere and are no longer confined purely to the domestic, a once male-dominated society has been forced to consider and give prominence to traditionally female issues of pregnancy, child birth and child rearing.

We have seen advances in maternity – and paternity – leave and large strides have been made in combating workplace and professional discrimination against pregnant women.

But with this attention comes expectation and pressure: pressure on women to excel as mothers and as workers and to juggle the demands of both their personal and professional lives.

The emergence firstly of superwoman, followed more recently by the yummy mummy has led to a shift in the common perception of childbirth from an incredibly painful and long event to an almost blissful experience in which children are born quickly and easily with the minimum of problems and discomfort.

Giving birth has become a minor event and motherhood in no way derails a woman from her chosen career.

Elaine Hanzak believes that this constant pressure on women to be perfect mothers and superwomen has led to most new mothers experiencing postnatal depression “in some shape or form”.

Postnatal depression covers a broad range of conditions from the so-called “baby blues” to the severe and life-threatening puerperal psychosis.

Official figures quoted by the Royal College of Psychiatrists would suggest one in 10 mothers suffer from postnatal depression but a survey last year for website netmums found that 54% of mothers said their mental health suffered after giving birth.

Ms Hanzak, who experienced postnatal depression firsthand following the birth of her son Dominic, said: “As a society we have lost the cherish-ness of pregnancy – with so many mothers working today, it has almost become a status symbol to keep working literally to the point when you drop.

“And as soon as women have given birth the expectation is that within 10 minutes she should be back in her size eight jeans, rustling up a meal.

“What captured it for me was a news story over Christmas about a mother of three who gave birth on Christmas Day and within an hour was at home making Christmas dinner for everyone.

“A columnist in The Sun exemplified this woman as a real heroine, saying ‘What a super woman’ and this is what motherhood is all about.

“In the old days my mum was in hospital for a few days, even though the birth was fine. She was given the opportunity to have a few days to get breastfeeding sorted out, whereas now mothers are in and out of hospital within a few hours.

“It’s as if women are being catapulted back into being efficient without giving their bodies a chance to recover from either major surgery in the form of a C-section or the demands of the birth.”

Another source of perceived pressure has come from the inexorable rise of the celebrity. Our fascination with the minutiae of famous women’s lives and the wall-to-wall coverage of every move they make in the growing number of glossy magazines has led to an intense focus on every aspect of their being, including pregnancy.

Women in the public eye are loudly congratulated and lauded for maintaining a svelte-like figure during pregnancy and then snapping back into their size zero clothes within a heartbeat of giving birth.

In the acres of newsprint and thousands of thousands of snatched pictures there are few celebrities – whether A or Z-list – who have been celebrated for having anything less than a perfect birth experience.

The media has helped to perpetuate the idea of a perfect and easy birth, which, many believe, only adds to the pressure on us mere mortals.

But Helen Rogers, secretary of the Royal College of Midwives’ UK Board for Wales, said: “Coleen Rooney had her baby and left hospital less than a day later looking beautiful.

“But she will have had the skills of a hairdresser and make-up artist to make her look beautiful for her first media appearance.

“She will also have had the time and energy to invest in getting fit again because that is her role.

“Film stars, for example, are under enormous pressure to look young beautiful and under control but they have access to the mechanisms to do that.

“If you’re a single mum or if you’ve got to go straight back to work because of the economic climate we live in, you don’t have the time to get yourself back in shape.

“It is hard work, as we all know from going to the gym – it doesn’t happen overnight, unless you put in a huge amount of effort.

“These celebrities are a completely unrealistic picture for many, many women.”

Polly Ferguson, the Welsh Assembly Government’s nursing officer for women’s reproductive health and a practising midwife, said: “There are an enormous amount of celebrity magazines – in any supermarket they are all across the shelves so we can’t help but see images of beautiful women recovering from pregnancy very quickly.

“But there are also positive role models: Charlotte Church, for example, had a home birth, has breastfed and gradually lost weight and is now a sensible size and looks beautiful.

“My advice is don’t buy gossip magazines; don’t model yourself on celebrities who have the staff – nutritionist and trainers – and the money.

“But they are also in the public gaze and the pressure to look good must be enormous.

“There are images of perfect bodies but we don’t know about their parenting skills – we see celebrities with beautifully dressed children on their arms and slim women just after giving birth. But we don’t know what it’s like for them. I would expect it’s the same as it is for all of us: a challenge.”

Ms Hanzak maintains that pressure on pregnant women also comes from the very services that are supposed to help women prepare for the birth of their children: antenatal classes.

“Antenatal classes paint an almost perfect picture of a sensual, new age type birth with incense burning, instant bonding and the baby taking to the breast,” she said.

“I felt a huge sense of failure and guilt because that didn’t happen to me. My sister also had major complications and we nearly lost her and the baby.

“When you go to mother and toddler groups if you are suffering, if you’re not sleeping or have piles, most of the other people will say everything is wonderful. I get the impression that everyone else is back in their size eight jeans and their babies are perfect – they don’t soil their nappies, they sleep for 23 hours and for the other hour of the day they are just cute.

“The more I listen to these perfect stories, the more I retreat back into my shell and feel that I can’t cope. The more you feel these negative emotions the more you don’t want to go out to these groups and become more and more isolated. There is this picture of perfection; maybe we need to lower the expectation to what is normal.”

Ms Hanzak: “There are cultures in the Far East where the newly delivered mum is almost confined to the bedroom and all she has to do is look after herself and the baby.

“Everything else is covered by the family and the community in these cultures. I think we need more awareness that the birthing process isn’t necessarily wonderful and women need more time to debrief after birth.

“Perhaps families and friends could offer more practical support, with cooking and cleaning, as opposed to descending on the new mum in the first week with helium balloons. And maybe we also need some more yummy mummies prepared to say in the media that it can be hard work.”

Susan Rees, an NHS midwife who runs the Gooseberry Bush, which provides private antenatal and postnatal classes for women, said: “It’s all about women’s expectations and what education and information they have access to – postnatally there’s not a lot for them in terms of classes and they are just left to get on with it.

“They will get a call from their community midwife a couple of times during the 21 days they are in their care and that’s about it.

“Women have their babies, go home and then think what do they do now.

“They think it should be instinctive, but it’s not; it’s about learning.”

But Miss Ferguson said: “Midwives and obstetricians have just developed a maternity record that all women will carry that says: ‘Birth is not just about making babies but making strong, competent, healthy mothers who trust in themselves and believe in their inner strength’.

“The focus for midwives and obstetricians is working with women and their partners to support them and develop strong competent parenting in the face of everything around them.”

Private classes have been set up to teach expectant mothers and fathers about parenting.

The small “parentcraft” classes, for between five and 10 couples, are being run by Innermost Secrets and aim to prepare couples for both the birth of their child and life after.

There will also be special men-only sessions to address fathers’ concerns.

Bryan Beattie, director of Innermost Secrets, said: “Many couples have complained that hospital antenatal clinics are busy and overcrowded with couples of different ages and from different backgrounds, such that they felt the classes did not actually meet their individual needs.

“Other couples have found it useful to attend NCT classes but found that while catering well for normal childbirth, medical information about screening tests, pregnancy scans, epidural and spinal anaesthesia, instrumental delivery and caesarean section was limited.

“For this reason many couples didn’t attend any parentcraft classes and lost out on the many benefits they provide.”

The classes will provide one midwife for every five couples and will be held at the Village Hotel, in Cardiff, every Monday evening.

Mr Beattie added: “There is also considerable emphasis on life after birth for both the woman and her partner and the importance of  maintaining their relationship as a couple as well as becoming mums and dads.

“Often the demands of a new baby leave many women feeling their only role is as a mother to their new baby and many dads feeling they have lost their partner as part of a couple.

“This breakdown in the relationship as a couple can contribute to postnatal depression and further stress and anxiety for new mums and dads.

“Understanding each other’s perspective, sharing the workload, supporting each other and taking time out together are key parts of a successful, happy, integrated family unit.”

Source: WalesOnline - http://tinyurl.com/yedk44b